just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
