i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
