Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
