you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
