i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize