Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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