Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
