i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
