they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
