Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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