i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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