my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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