cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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