i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
