I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
