I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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