By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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