they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
