My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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