and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
