sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
