sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
