living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
