I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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