i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
