I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
