thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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