Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
