So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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