He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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