Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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