Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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