my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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