I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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