You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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