At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
