just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
50% drunk capacity currently
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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