what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize