Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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