They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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