Everything about him screamed your future.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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