I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize