Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
