It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize