apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
