Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
