chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
