Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
