no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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