she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize