dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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