hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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