i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
