She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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