Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
