I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
