she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
