Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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