If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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